Feds Set To Charge Cory Booker With International Crimes Against Humanity

Cory Booker is the perfect description of a Democrat. Give away everything for free, make sure every kid gets a trophy, send entitled leeches out into society and hope they do well. That’s Cory Booker on the outside. Give, give and give some more and just your vote in return. Unfortunately, Booker’s always bright and shiny smile can no longer hide the dark secret that Cory Booker is a multi-millionaire, nearly a billionaire, with funds stashed away overseas and on every island between here and Dublin.

The business is massive. Booker owns freighters and cargo planes and ships around the world. It seems that CBKB Enterprises, a company owned solely by Booker under an assumed name, is the last stop in the US for aborted baby parts. Booker’s company collects them and ships them to ports across the world, many of which have strict laws against it.

Even some US allies are shaking their heads at this one. On top of the little science experiments Booker probably laughs about over cheeseburgers, he also exports chicken parts. Mostly wings. In most of Europe, they’re considered to have good flavor but they’re not quite as meaty as they’d like.

Between his baby parts and chicken racket, most of which is also off the books and a violation of international law, Booker is looking at some serious trouble. The ICC, which we don’t belong to, will most certainly want answers, as will Interpol. Jeff Sessions at Justice said that he doesn’t even know how to respond other than to launch a full investigation into what laws may have been broken here at home.

Booker told Crossroads Correspondent Bridget Roll that this was another case of “conservatives getting their panties in an uproar over nuffin.” Bridget said she then stood silently as he smiled and waved and waltzed off into the sunset to go sell another little baby part on the black market in Kuala Lumpur.

Almost everyone on the Hill agrees that Booker should just resign.

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